AN EXPLORATION OF VULNERABILITY
Over the years I have tried several times to learn creative coding, but I end up quitting every time.
Every. Single. Time.
I realized that I’m getting roadblocked because I am scared to really try. My fear of failing was taking over.
I was struggling with being vulnerable.
︎ I’M TOO STUPID TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS.
︎ WHAT IF I GET TOO DEEP INTO THE PROJECT TO ONLY THEN REALIZE IT SUCKS.
︎ WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES TERRIBLY WRONG AND I CAN’T FIX IT.
Worth It is a catalogue of the creative coding projects I created while diving into vulnerability. I pushed my fears aside and let myself learn without letting the fear of failure stop me. (It definitely tried)
A VULNERABLE ROLE MODEL
My father is a proud man. He single-handedly built a business from the ground-up that supported my family for over 20 years. In 2008, that business shattered. He held on for as long as he could, probably too long, but it was over. My dad’s dream, everything he had worked for his entire adult life was taken from him. His identity and self-worth were gone. He failed.
Filled with shame my father had to ask a friend for help to find work. The only position my father was qualified for at his friends company was a Night-Shift Manager making $12.75/hour. My father ran his own business for over 20 years, and now his best option was running the counter of a gas station—at night. It was a blow to his ego.
He graciously accepted the offer, believing that he could make more of a less-than-ideal situation. He was uncertain of the outcome. His failures were no longer hidden—he had to commonly serve people in the store that he used to do big business contracts with. He was completely exposed.
I am proud to say my father is still with that company. He no longer works in the stores, or overnight shifts—he leads a team of 50+ people who research and develop new stores across the nation and implement products that enhance the customer experience. He has never been happier about going to work every day.
My father turned
his life around when he allowed himself to be vulnerable.